Last year this time I was having chinese food with my dad because it was too late to cook a turkey and he did not want anything to eat. I spent the evening watching a Mordeci Richler special on Bravo. Dad seemed to enjoy it very much.
Seeing as he wasn't feeling well, he went to bed and tried to be a trooper for me... I was tired too so it really didn't matter if I was in a festive mood or not. Had I given it much thought I would have taken more pictures, had more in depth conversations about everything, the family, us (him and I) and life's turbulent outcomes... But all dad wanted to do is stay warm and spend time with me. I miss him so much it hurts, I want to talk to him and I want to hold his hand and hug him but I can't any more. I can't anymore.
Damn it to hell, I miss him. Damn it to hell.
that's how I feel-
