A night spent with family, friends and good cheer... but not for me. This eve was spent wraping gifts and trying to get rid of a headache heading for a migraine. A night spent quietly and much needed.
How do I justify a christmas eve without family. As much as I love my family and friends... I am glad that I stayed home and spent it by myself listening to Jim Reeves or is it Paul Reeves? I look forward to his special every year airing on CJAD. I wrapped gifts and actually got rid of this headache and am thankful for the glass of red I am now enjoying.
Do you really need friends and family around at this time of year? It is a wonderful time to share special moments with loved ones, however, my love and friendship has not diminished with and for those I love because I spent this evening alone. It has not tainted my view of the holiday season especially since my holiday was on the winter solstice with that glorious total lunar eclipse... (which i watched online as it was so cloudy here in MTL).
I cherish my time alone these days and look forward to the time I spend with my friends and family of course-
I am guilty of wanting time alone and am guilty of fighting for it when poor dad wants to be with me almost 24/7 or though it feels like it. I love him and need him but time alone seems to be just so precious. Some may say that I am selfish and not right for wanting this time alone when dad has lung cancer. Had this been 2-3 mths ago = this post would not be written. it would be about dad and how he is going... speaking of which, He is doing very well. His hair is starting to grow back and he has color in his face. He only has numbness in his feet and hands, this is a result of the chemo. How I long for the days before Cancer and sickness....
I tell you what i long for though- I long for the sleigh rides with Jeff to kentucky fried chicken being pulled by uncle ern, elvis belting out the tunes from the sterio, uncle edgar dressing up as santa carrying a bag that was bigger than him, I long for trips down the street to aunt muriel's and uncle george's, uncle ern's and aunt lynn's, the trip over to mary and al's... I long for bo hiding my christmas gifts in the tree, I long for pap to walk through the door. I long for the family gathering of everyone at my place - the place that I still live in. I could hear the laughter, the joy. I long for the time when dad would surprise me with a plane ticket to sydney N.S. for chritmas to see grandma and aunt paul. I long for the parties and all night music that was always on, around and happening. I long to be worry free and innocent of all that is to come.
This is not a sad holiday- it is a time to remember the old, to share the new and enjoy the present. This is what I am doing. I've finished wrapping my gifts and forgot to eat since this morning.. the house is somewhat presentable. I put up my lights in the window and willow is fed. now at 8 pm in the evening I'll pour my second glass of red and make something to eat... enjoy this time alone and toast to those I love and care for.
Find peace in your hearts, say a prayer in which ever religion you belong to, as i'm sure that they are all heard, and have a merry eve and a joyous new year.
